I was in a really Irk Splee-ish mood when it came time for me Mysterio to name his and Cassandra's kids. He let me name the first one that hatched, but insisted on naming the other four. Then when the next egg hatched, he promptly turned and asked to borrow my thesaurus. Here's the descriptions for Mysterio's wife Cassandra and their five children.

BTW, some of the opinions quoted in Cassandra's profile are entirely right. Mysterio is terrible at naming things, which is proven by the fact that he went and officially announced his family's last name is Xatnat. Oy vey.

Cassandra
Cassandra is an opinionated woman who is never shy about speaking her mind. The only time she typically stay quiet is when the subject is about or indirectly involves the future- being a Xatu, who actually know what the future holds, she knows to limit her sharp tongue to opinions about pokemon, humans, and events in the past and present.

Her most constantly voiced opinions are of her husband, Mysterio. To her, his nature isn't quiet but "more of a daft nature", he needs to evolve "so the visions can shock some sense into him", and " he sucks at naming things, especially children ".

Serenity
BrainpanSonata was collecting Natu eggs to reach an weird goal: have a pokemon that embodied her RP character. When the first of five eggs hatched, it fit the exact qualities sought. Fate's funny like that. Cassandra and Mysterio, whose three eggs were part of the "Natu hunt", insisted on adopting her.

Ironically enough, even though she doesn't care to learn about her namesake, she finds Curio's work fascinating and wants to be his apprentice.

Temerity
When Cassandra and Mysterio's three eggs were ready to hatch, Mysterio insisted HE'D be the one to name them. Then he asked if BrainpanSonata could help him by providing her thesaurus- and her handy hands with their fingers and opposable thumbs.

Their eldest daughter had a bold nature, so he looked up "boldness" and chose to name her Temerity since it sounded the most feminine.

Too bad he didn't look up "temerity" in a dictionary. It would have saved him a vicious tongue-lashing from his wife Cassandra, who later did. And future insults from Temerity, who grew up to be just like her mother.

Amiability
Despite Cassandra's protests after looking up what he'd named their first child, Mysterio turned right back to the thesaurus to name their second child- and was immediately stumped.

"So many synonyms for mild," he moaned, "and none of them will suit. Lenient? Mellow? Genial?"

"You are NOT naming our daughter Genial!" shrieked Cassandra. "One typo and she'll get reported!"

"Okay, okay! Hmm. What about this one? Amiable... I like the sound of it. Maybe... Amiability?"

And so the child was named Amiability. Given her inclination to make friends easily, the name really does suit her.

Alacrity
"Okay, this is the last one to name," said BrainpanSonata. "At least right now. Are we ready?"

"I've got the thesaurus," said Mysterio, pushing a book in a sealed, wet plastic bag with his feet.

"Blast, he found the hiding spot," said Cassandra. "I've got the dictionary."

"I've got..." Sonata paused. "My hands, thumbs, and shouldery perch."

"And I've gotta RUN!" shouted the little Natu as she sped past. The trio watched her, stunned.

"Look up 'fast'," Mysterio finally said. "Then cross-check it with words that mean 'REALLY fast'."

Alacrity's name really suits her. She just LOVES to run.

Bob
It was a crucial day for The Xatnats (a name which Cassandra STILL hated). The last of the five kids was ready to be named.

Sonata and Cassandra watched Mysterio, who had insisted he name this hatchling as well. Mysterio... was stalling for time.

"Shouldn't we have prepared some sort of special party?" he asked nervously. "Or something?"

"Oh, shut up, idiot," sniped Cassandra. "I know you talked that Pachirisu into looking for the thesaurus. He's STILL looking."

"Impulse?" asked Sonata. "I just saw him trying to out-mime Decroux."

Sans thesaurus, all Mysterio could think up was "Bob".

I read Balu each and every day. She brings joy to my world with her combination of witty names and droll descriptions, most of which are limericks.

Heres a funny one from one of my friends:
Custom Description
Sprouts is a 'pretty cool guy' (so he thinks). He never leaves home without his shades, he thinks that it helps him 'pick up chicks'. However, the only thing he's been able to woo was a male gender-confused Paras.

Sprouts is the king or bad pick-up lines. Right now, his favourite one to use is "were you born in a forest? Because you're a fox!"

I'm sure I once read about someone who had a Palkia army, and one of their Palkia's had a description containing "Besides, how many girls can look their teacher in the eye and say 'My Palkia erased the space that contained my homework?'" or something like that.

Wish I could remember

*pumps her own one*

"Lemon is a giant sourpuss and hates his trainer more than anything in the world. Why this is, no one knows, considering how much the trainer tries to make him happy. Heck, even all the candy in the world wouldn't make Lemon happy with his trainer. He would probably be more than likely to throw the candy at said trainer and laugh as he watches her get buried under all the candy that she probably blew her life savings on just to make Lemon happy.

We think it's because Lemon hates the fact that he'll probably be a sexy feminine looking bunny when he's happy."

*E* And BrainpanSonata? Those descriptions are awesome. XD

I was doing clickbacks and read peacefrog777's descriptions. The randomness of them gave me a laugh.

Race: Piplup
Name: Penguin
She loves snow like all penguins do. She also enjoys eating nuts with Squirrel. She likes making snow angels and yelling at people on Jerry Springer; she just knows that guy was dressing up in his girlfriend's clothes behind her back.

Race: Magikarp
Name: Sushi
Mmm...sushi...*drools* Other Pokemon keep trying to eat him, but the joke is on them; someday he will be a Gyarados, and he will try to eat those Pokemon. He believes he could win Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.

Race: Numel
Name: Camel Lumps
She has lovely camel lumps and loves making you crazy with them. She will get get get you drunk, get you drunk off her camel humps.

ahahahaha, GENIUS.

The one that made me laugh was kato's Choco:
DANGER!!!!!
First,do NOT feed him chesto berry!Makes him bite and steal Ms Robbers leg again!Poor Ms.Robbers...
Made me lol.

hooray for shameless self advertising! the first one isnt that good. the second one i was feeling pretty random when i wrote it.

My Mighyena Hellhound:
Do ya get it? His name is Hellhound, and he's a fire type? Cause there's lots of fire in hell? No? You don't get it? Ehh, me neither.

My Riolu Superman:
He eats fear for breakfest. Usually with a side of bacon.

Danger is his middle name. Just kidding, it's actually Bob.

He loves to watch Spongebob. Squidward is his idol. One day, he hopes to have as big a nose as Squidward.

He likes to karate chop your face. Along with your arms, legs, and vital organs.

His favorite food is tropical smoothies, although mostly for the fancy little umbrellas. He then tries to use it to protect himself from the rain and wonders why he still gets wet.

His favorite past time is Rickrolling people. NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN...

Aw, shucks. Never thought I'd be found and have Moddie's description read, much less put here. You've made me feel both warm inside and self-conscious. The idea just popped into my head and I had to write it down, mostly for my own giggles. But I'm glad it could amuse strangers.

Anyway, for my own contribution, I'd like to bring my friend Didge's descriptions to light.

First, his Furret's description, The Weasel:



Then, his Totodile's description, Princess Bitey. Heck, her name is even funny:

shameless advertising, lol.

tee hee, another one of mine -

for my Slugma Flash -

"Flash is a SuperSlugma and he plans to save the whole wide world. He specialises in spectacular rescues from burning buildings and baking simply superb souffles just by looking at them. He may only be able to reach speeds of 20 metres per hour, but rest assured he will get around to saving everyone, DARN IT HE WILL."

I must say that BrainpanSonata's descriptions are pretty good. So now it is decided that I think Irk Splee, Rapidash King and BrainpanSonata are all great at writing this stuff.

that one got me too

http://gpxplus.net/user/HaganeGir
^That user^

That's seriously all that needs to be said.
They're all quite hilarious.

I made an effort to copying him. Though I don't think I'm doing it as good.

Aw, gee... thanks, KendoSword.

I must admit, the desire to become a published writer, an inherent love of puns, and a really odd sense of humor does help a lot when it comes to this stuff.

Though it was kind of awkward to write descriptions that referred to "The Grand Pirogi Incident" for pokemon that had just hatched, especially when you consider I had thought up "The Grand Pirogi Incident" story only the day before and didn't type the actual piece into my journal until the day after those pokemon had hatched.

Editing to fit the character limit isn't too much trouble (my thesaurus is my trusted friend, no matter how often Cassandra tries to hide it from Mysterio), but I need to work on making sure those kinds of timing gaffes don't happen in the future.

Edit: not self-advertising! Found an interesting description while returning clicks just now.

Human: michailia
Pokemon: Bulbasaur
Nickname: Slag
Nature: Sassy

Description: Slag is a loud mouth, backsassing (hence his nature) Bulbasaur, who doesn't like anything. While he isn't too bright, he does however know how to battle. Often at times, when faced with a difficult challenge, Slag proclaims "Beryllium Baloney!"

This post has been edited by BrainpanSonata: Jul 14 2009, 07:06 PM

This one is a bit odd, by Cecilia.

Ave Mitica the Spearow:
I'm a legendary bird I tell you. Believe me.

I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave Ave Mitica.

This post has been edited by KendoSword: Jul 17 2009, 04:40 PM

Found a gold mine while mass-clicking today. Shiver's the name and proving nonsense is just plain hilarious is the game.

Pokemon: Vaporeon
Nickname: Patella
Description: One day, Patella was taking a delightful stroll in the park. Suddenly, NINJAS! Hundreds of them! Patella had to think fast. She reached for a makeshift weapon. A park bench. She wielded the bench and twirled it in the coolest style imaginable. The ninjas approached. She held them back for several minutes. Eventually the bench began to wear down. She knew it couldn't last much longer. She was correct. The bench asploded into tight shorts. Patella put on the tight shorts and flexed every muscle in her lower body. The sheer sight of this blew the ninjas' minds. And then Patella was a zombie.

Pokemon: Ninetails
Nickname: Purfire
Description: She backflips into erupting volcanoes for fun. When she gets bored of that, she uses imagination to create black holes and then backflips into them. Then she uses more imagination to escape from non-existence and backflips across the universe. She searches for planets to enslave. When she finds one, she forces all the life on it to build a teleporter and send her back to Earth. Then she goes to bed, wakes up the next day, and repeats the process.

Pokemon: Raichu
Nickname Dezday
Description: OVER NINE QUINTILLION YEARS AGO, Dezday created the universe. Nowadays, she spends her time drifting around in the Earth's atmosphere playing flaming guitars with her teeth. She defends the Earth from oncoming asteroids by shooting eye lasers at them. She is also the greatest rock-paper-scissors player the world has ever known.

Pokemon: Marowak
Nickname: Counter
Description: He has mastered the art of barrel rolls and dramatic gestures. He uses his bone to create fissures in the Earth, then he dives into them and backstrokes to the core. That's where he buys his groceries. After he gets his food, he walks to the sun to check on his rose garden. Because he waters them with cobra venom, they are the manliest roses ever. Instead of in a bed, he sleeps in thunderclouds.

Pokemon: Weavile
Nickname: Frag
Description: Spends his time in the ice caps snowboarding down mountains. Earth often gets boring so he snowboards to Neptune. Upon arrival he creates zombies for himself to battle. After he defeats them all, he builds a house out of the them and sells it to cosmic real estate agencies. If he doesn't feel like doing that, he stays on Earth and moves glaciers in the path of ships.

Pokemon: Misdreavus
Nickname: Festa
Description: Festa plays chess on roller-coasters. When she's bored, she creates new oceans. Oceans in the sky. However, not many people notice her beautiful sky-oceans, and this upsets her. So she flings them into the atmosphere via catapults. She also enjoys long walks on the beach.

AHH!! I can't believe something about me would get posted on here! I didn't think it was that funny... more like cheesy...
Altair is the main character from Assassin's Creed, to everyone that hasn't played it. He's a real manly man, so its hilarious to imagine him singing in a 'gorgeous soprano', hahaha

I can't really self-promote myself since that's the only funny description I have, but... yeah

I only have two described and named, one after a friend and another is a 'memorial' so to speak.

Anyway, I always enjoy reading Irk Splee's.